Step 3
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.
As I understand him? Really? What if I don’t understand him? Sure I grew up in church….I mean I attended church, I heard the message, but I never really learned who God is and waht he can do. I misunderstood him.
When it came to for me to take the 3rd step, I struggled. At some point in my recovery I realized that while drinking I had no issues…
making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of Jose Cuervo, Jim Bean and Jack Daniels as I understood them…
but this God thing was impossible for me. Or was it? I had enough experience in drying out and drinking again that I knew I wanted no more of it. I wanted sobriety but thought there was no way I’d achieve it.
I had to equate the 3 rd step to Newton’s Law of Physics. Body in motion, stays in motion. It’s a lot easier to get sober that it is to get sober again!
I had to earnestly and without reservation, ask God to relieve me of this. I had to… or was dead. So I did. I continue to do so. What I have today is a reprieve that is contingent upon my spiritual condition. I have to turn my will over to God daily.
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I love the steps…I love that they are numbered. 1,2,3, etc… not 4,1,7,12,9 etc..
I believe that there is misconception in some circles about understanding God. It does not say that I fully understand, or that I understand but am not sure how to apply it, it simply says made a decision… as we understood him.
For me this was easy as I did this step after the second step. The first step prepared me for the second, the second for the third. Once I came to believe a power greater than me could restore me to sanity all I had to do was name that power. I choose God as the power greater than me. I tried the group for a bit but realized with a little bit of effort I could control the group or leave the group which only proved I still had power.
Once I figured out God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit was all powerful and that I could not reign over Him all I had to do was ask am I going to continue doing this or trust him. I said to trust and at that point the decision was made. Pretty easy but only because I had the previous steps as a foundation.
Now to the misunderstanding… that is all about my relationship with Christ. What I understand today some 25 years after accepting Christ as my savior is vastly different than then. But that is what is so great about it. He constantly discloses things to me as I am ready for it. Sometimes I get a glimpse of what is to come but not very often. However, it is like any relationship…it grows and evolves as effort is put into it. We have had times of a great relationship and times that I choose to go off and do things on my own. His hand was always there for me to grab, I just had to grab it.
That is what is so exciting about the third step…it sent me into the best relationships I have ever had…actually the only one that has stood the test of time. It is the decision that allows me to work and live towards his will and not mine…
And like you said that is a daily, sometimes hourly decision…
Aaron - June 26, 2009 at 1:35 pm