The first week everything went great. Diamond was everything the shelter said she was. Sweet personality, great on a leash on walks and wonderful with our five year old daughter who does not like hyper dogs. We joke that Diamond is really a self-propelled throw rug.  My wife was going on and on about how this was the best dog she has ever had. Then we came home from church and all that came to and end. Our wonderful, awesome dog was apparently not as housebroken as we thought. My wife was crushed, hurt, disappointed. The kids were grossed out. And Diamond, she knew she had messed up… big time.

In retrospect we realized we put some unrealistic expectations on a 16 month old dog. Something had to give as we were adjusting to having a dog in the home and the dog had to adjust to being in a new environment. During the process there was going to be success and there was going to be failure.

The fact is that at times you are going to fail. You are not going to do everything right all the time, not that you do not try your best, but everyone fails at some point in their lives. Failure however will never stand in the way of success if we learn from it. It is important to remember that failure is an event… it is not a person (or in our case a very sweet dog). When she messed up we did not give up on her, pack her up and take her back to the shelter. We got out the Resolve carpet cleaner and cleaned up the mess. We then made some adjustments in our feeding and trip to the back yard schedule on Sundays so we do not put our little dog in a situation where she is set up to fail.

For all of us messing up is not a matter of “if” but “when”. And when the “when” happens we must learn from it.

When you fail that does not make you a failure, unless you give up and quit. Instead get out your “Resolve” and recommit to clean up your life. Talk to those who are supporting you, see what adjustments you need to make in your life so you do not put your self in a situation where you are set up to fail.

1 Kings 12 gives the account of Rehoboam, the grandson of King David, son of King Solomon and heir to the throne of the nation of Israel.  His was a life of privilege as his father had taxed the people to pay for the royal palaces, temples, gardens and public works. At Rehoboam’s coronation the people of Israel sent a representative to ask the new king for relief from the high taxes placed on them by his father.  The older, wiser, men who were Solomon’s advisors also told Rehoboam that he should lighten the taxes on the people and by doing so gain their loyalty throughout his reign. Great advice… but not so fast.

A third group had Rehoboam’s ear. It was his friends, the guys he grew up with. They did not care about Rehoboam as much as keeping their lifestyle, the palaces, and the parties they were accustom to. They not only did not want it all to go away, but they probably wanted to do things even bigger now that they were the ones in charge. Instead of ending taxes, or just keeping them at the current rates, Rehoboam friends encouraged him to raise taxes even more.

Rehoboam’s friends were addicted to their lifestyle. The advice they gave was in their best interest and had disastrous results. All the people except those in Rehoboam’s own tribe rebelled and started a new kingdom of Israel to the north. Egypt invaded Rehoboam’s weakened kingdom, now called Judah, and he had to empty the temple treasury as a tribute. In the end the advice of Rehoboam’s friends led to the demise of his kingdom and shortened his reign.

When someone is into an activity, such as hunting, weight lifting, riding motorcycles, etc., their closest friends tend to be people who share their interest. Likewise people with addictions tend to hang out with people who have the same addiction. The advice they give each other makes them feel better about themselves and continue their destructive cycle. When we struggle with things in our lives it is important to surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear. We need friends who are looking out for our best interest, not with agendas of their own that include keeping us from getting the help we need.

Take a moment to think about your friends. Are they helping you overcome issues in your life or dragging you back into your old lifestyle? Is their advice leading you to success or destruction? Remember; choose your friends wisely, for they will become your greatest influencers.

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In the past few months I have dealt with three different people going through divorces. One of them caused by their own addiction to alcohol, the others their spouse left them for someone else. Two of these individuals are falling apart, convinced their life is over, and their world has ended.  They say they want help but no matter what you do to try to help they reject it. Their response “You don’t understand what I am going through…no one understands how I feel!!”

The truth however is statistically half the people who have ever been married have gone through what they are going through. They would however rather have a pity party for themselves than focus getting on with the business of recovery and making the best of their future. That is what the love of Christ and His grace is all about… putting the past behind you and moving forward. God’s grace is not something that is earned but something that is freely given to all Ephesians 2:8-9 (NKJ). No matter where you have been or what you have done, nothing surprise or shocks God and His grace is available to you, if you will accept it.

If you have an addiction, drugs, alcohol, or are going through some tough times, you are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of people are dealing with the same thing you are. Many of their stories parallel yours. What is the main difference between someone who is recovering from an addiction or setback in life and someone who is not…attitude and taking advantage of God’s grace. Chuck Swindoll has a great quote “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” When everything else seems out of control there is always one thing you have total control of, and that is your attitude.

Two of my friends are falling apart…but the third is putting their life back together. They have chose to examine where their life went wrong, take responsibility for the part they played in messing it up and are now taking steps to adjust their attitude. They are tapping into God’s grace and makeing the necessary changes in an effort to not repeat the same mistakes. If they can do it anyone can do it…if they so choose.

So, what attitude are you going to choose today?  Are you going to access God’s grace or keep struggling in your own limited power? Remember the choice is yours, choose wisley.